IRIS 2.3

If minds could be read as simply as letters, would yours be considered spam?

*  *  3  *  *

“Don’t think about her. Don’t think about her. Don’t-“

PING. [Alexis N. has taken note of your thoughts. Would you like to respond?]

“Dammit!

“Ok, think about something else. Who’s going to win the playoff game tonight? Who’s even in the playoff game tonight? Wait, is it even playoff season? What sport is going on right now? Baseball, I think? No. Basketball. Ugh. Alexis would know.

“Shoot!

“Don’t think about her. Don’t think about her. Don’t-“

PING. [Alexis N. has taken note of your thoughts. Would you like to respond?]

“Dammit!

“Ok, uh . . . video games! I wonder how good ESO actually is. Maybe I’ve worked it up too big in my head and now it’ll just be a disappointment. Kind of like when I finally tried sushi. That stuff is so overated. More like sushit. Haha. Solid joke. Alexis really liked that joke when I told it to her.

“No!”

PING. [Alexis N. has taken note of your thoughts. Would you like to respond?]

“Of course I would like to respond, but I can’t because-“

[Alright. How would you like to respond?]

“No! You don’t understand! She can’t know about-“

[Thank you. Your response has been sent to Alexis N.]

“Not again!

“No. It’s fine. Calm down. Just think about something else . . . work! Alexis first suggested the job.”

PING.

“School? You only went there so you would be closer to Alexis.”

PING.

“Family. Do you remember how your cousin Jeremy couldn’t quit staring at Alexis when you took her to Tina’s wedding? Or when you took her to the Halloween party? Or to Thanksgiving?”

PING.

PING.

PING.

“Dammit! What is wrong with me?”

BLIP. [Alexis N. is thinking about you.]

[“God! When will he get a life? Take a hint, man!”]

“I knew it. I knew this was going to happen. I knew she was going to hear all of that, think I’m a creep and never want to speak to me again. There was no way this was going to end well for me. No way at all. Now there’s not even a chance of getting back together with her.”

PING.

BLIP. [Alexis N. is thinking about you.]

[“Come on, Will. You’re just making things harder on both of us. It’s time to move on.”]

“You know what? This isn’t my fault. I can’t control what I think about. You know whose fault this is? Huginn Corp. Their technology is what’s ruining my life here. They’re the ones who made all this happen. If it wasn’t for them, I could grieve, think about whatever and move on like people were meant to do. Screw you, Huginn Corp. Screw you!”

PING. [Huginn Corp. has taken note of your thoughts. Would you like to respond?]

“You know what? Yes. I would like to respond.”

[Alright. How would you like to respond?]

“I want to file a complaint. I can’t quit thinking about Alexis and thanks to their stupid technology, she keeps getting notified about it. It’s ruining both of our lives.”

[Thank you. Your response has been sent to Huginn Corp.]

BLIP. [Huginn Corp. is thinking about you.]

[“Thank you for your complaint, User-23514862. Please stand by as we work to rectify the problem.”]

“What the heck does that mean?”

BLIP. [Alexis N. is thinking about you.]

[“That’s an option?”]

BLIP. [Huginn Corp. is thinking about you.]

[“Hello, User-23514862. Your complaint has been processed and a solution is on its way! Thank you for using IRIS 2.3. We appreciate your patronage.”]

“Seriously, what does that mean?

“Maybe they changed my settings so I can control when Alexis gets notified about my thoughts.”

PING. [Alexis N. has taken note of your thoughts. Would you like to respond?]

“Apparently not.”

BLIP. [Alexis N. is thinking about you.]

BUZZ. [Alexis N. has flagged your thoughts as spam.]

BUZZ. [Huginn Corp. is reviewing your thoughts regarding complaint S243H91 as filed by User-22516911.]

“I don’t like the sound of this.”

BUZZ. [Huginn Corp. has reviewed complaint S243H91 against User-23514862 and ruled in favor of User-22516911. Prepare for absolution.]

“Absolution? What does that mean?”

BUZZ. [Absolution complete. Thank you for your patience.]

BLIP. [Alexis N. is thinking about you.]

[“I’m so sorry, Will.”]

“Who the heck is Alexis?”

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